BREAKING the SILENCE

Don’t let life challenges stifle you or keep you from fulfilling your purpose. Whether you’re coping with the loss of a loved one or trying to change your life for the better, there’s nothing like empowering yourself. Confronting your circumstance is often the hardest step, but a necessary key towards self-fulfillment. Let’s take a look at a few resources that will help you make informative decisions to situations that impact you on a personal level.

Domestic Violence

Stop the cycle: Domestic violence can vary in frequency and severity.  It often begins with mental abuse.  This behavior can escalate to physical or sexual assault. Each year, women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner related physical assaults and rapes (Tjaden & Thoennes 2000). Intimate partner abuse resulted in 2,340 deaths in 2007.  Of those deaths 70% were females (Bureau of Justice Statistics 2011). Even though leaving an abusive relationship is not easy, the danger of staying in can be deadly. You deserve better and owe it to yourself to be free from fear

Discrimination in the Work Place

Break the silence- don’t be afraid to report discrimination: Discrimination in the workforce has come a long way in recent decades, but unfortunately not long enough. According to an article written by Michael Morris and Susan Fisk (2009), discrimination has learned to conceal itself despite decades of activism, legislation and human resource programs.  Don’t be intimidated, if you KNOW you have been discriminated against because of age, disability, equal pay, national origin, pregnancy, race, religion, or sex do something about it, don’t wait until it’s too late: Private sector employees have 180 calendar days from the day the discrimination took place to file a complaint. Federal employees and job applicants must first contact their agencies EEO Counselor within 45 calendar days from the day the discrimination took place. Most Agency EEO point of contact information can be found on bulletin boards in break rooms.  If not look around your office- by law that information has to be posted in plain sight.

Substance Abuse Support

Addiction is a complex disorder characterized by compulsive drug use. While each drug produces different physical effects, all abused substances share one thing in common, repeated use. Prolonged exposure to drugs alters the brain in ways that result in powerful cravings and a compulsion to use. These brain changes make it extremely difficult to quit by sheer force of will. Recovery can begin at any point in the addiction process—the earlier, the better. Recovery from drug addiction is a long process that often involves setbacks. Relapse doesn’t mean that treatment has failed or that you’re a lost cause. Rather, it’s a signal to get back on track, it’s important to know that help is available.

Divorce

You are not a failure nor are you alone: Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Sixty-seven percent of all second marriages end in divorce (Kathleen O’Connell Corcoran, 1997). The decision to end a relationship can be traumatic, chaotic, and filled with contradictory emotions. There are also specific feelings, attitudes, and dynamics associated with whether one is in the role of the initiator or the receiver of the decision to breakup. For example, it is not unusual for the initiator to experience fear, relief, distance, impatience, resentment, doubt, and guilt. Likewise, when a party has not initiated the divorce, they may feel shock, betrayal, loss of control, victimization, decreased self esteem, insecurity, anger, a desire to “get even,” and wishes to reconcile. Isolation prolongs the agony, talking to a professional and other divorcees help to accelerate the healing process.

Loss of Spouse or Child

Loosing someone you love is very painful. After a loss, you may experience all kinds of emotions, such as devastation, resentment, anger and guilt. Sometimes it may feel like the sadness will never end. While these feelings can be overwhelming, they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing. Grief is a natural response to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain (Melinda Smith, & Jeanne Segal (2012). You can get through it! Grief that is expressed and experienced has a potential for healing that eventually can strengthen”.

Rape and Sexual Assault

Rape to me means “no means no”. The clinical definition is forced sexual intercourse including both psychological coercion as well as physical force. Forced sexual intercourse means penetration by the offender(s). Includes attempted rapes. Sexual assault on the other had is a wide range of victimizations, separate from rape or attempted rape.  These crimes include attacks or attempted attacks generally involving unwanted sexual contact between victim and offender.  Sexual assaults may or may not involve force and include such things as grabbing or fondling.  It also includes verbal threats.

Sadly statistics show that one in five women will be raped at some point in their lives. Nevertheless, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) the majority of sexual assaults are not reported to the police- Only 310 out of every 1,000 sexual assaults are reported. That means about 2 out of 3 go unreported. Similarly, the vast majority of perpetrators will not go to jail or prison. Out of 1000 rapes, 994 perpetrators will walk free. This is insane and has to stop!

Despite the fact that advocacy groups have worked for over three decades to halt the epidemic of sexual assault, the numbers are still shocking. With the emergence of the “ Me Too” movement, women must continue to vigorously demand action from the President and Congress on down to City Councils all across the nation to END sexual abuse against women. This effort must also be carried on in workplaces, colleges, catholic churches, locker rooms, the military, and in courtrooms, law enforcement, entertainment and the media. If you are a victim of rape or sexual assault, IT IS NOT your fault, don’t be afraid to report what happened to you-stop it from happening to someone else! You are the victim. Therefore, should not be ashamed or made to feel like you did something wrong! You don’t have to go alone…for support